SEO Humor from the Twitterverse

SEO's successfully getting through a Core Update: pic.twitter.com/PUR5HnBAZC

— Martin MacDonald 🐊🇺🇸🇪🇸🇬🇧 🦖 (@searchmartin) September 26, 2019

I'm really not one to brag, but sometimes it's nice to pat yourself on the back. Here's a site I work on that is killing it #slayingtheserps #justdoingmyjob pic.twitter.com/pVJf90moTO

— Mark Porter (@markcporter) March 20, 2019

Me: got lots to get done this morning. Let me go and quickly check in on Google Analytics and then I'll get all my tasks done right after.

3 hours later: down a black hole in GA and haven't even begun anything else.

— Matthew Howells-Barby Ξ mhb.eth (@matthewbarby) May 3, 2019

Only 1 week to come up with excuses for why your January SEO numbers are below the goals you set 3 months ago. Feel free to use one of these

1. Something to do with favicons
2. Google arbitrarily changing everything
3. Lazy, slow developers
4. Mercury being in retrograde

— Wtfseo (@WTFSEO) January 27, 2020

🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/AeLEt6w7Ko

— Marie Haynes (@Marie_Haynes) January 15, 2020

I was going to save this growth hack for the ebook, but if you also send it to your dad, you've just increased your traffic by 100% #boom 🤜💥🤛

— Mark Porter (@markcporter) March 21, 2019

Keyword Stuffing, the offline version 😂🤣😂 pic.twitter.com/PrtcdldzAW

— Martin MacDonald 🐊🇺🇸🇪🇸🇬🇧 🦖 (@searchmartin) January 10, 2019

Some solid SEO copy here… pic.twitter.com/aFdsTSiDzm

— Richard Shove (@RichardShove) May 22, 2019

Yep this is definitely how keywords work #nailedit pic.twitter.com/Y0DgwKgooa

— Ruth Burr Reedy (@ruthburr) November 4, 2019

Me compiling a stunning and intelligent technical SEO strategy
VS
Me realising there are no dev resources available pic.twitter.com/6BULGeZRte

— Izzi Smith (@izzionfire) November 29, 2019

When the new site goes live with no redirects: pic.twitter.com/GFu909Xa2L

— Lord of the SERPs (@LordOfTheSERPs) December 10, 2019

Disallow: * pic.twitter.com/Y3FerumPmW

— Jamie Indigo 👾 100% Human Technical SEO (@Jammer_Volts) February 12, 2019

Breaking: Google announces that they didn't say "Simon says" when they told everyone to use rel=next/prev for pagination

— Wtfseo (@WTFSEO) March 21, 2019

I just won. My daughter said there’s a 101 a 202 and 303 (freeway) is there a 404? I replied “it’s not found” I laughed. She was confused. Dad wins.

— Mat Siltala (@Matt_Siltala) December 13, 2019

Google does not use <p> and <div> tags for indexing. You should remove them all from your website immediately.

— Wtfseo (@WTFSEO) March 22, 2019

Backlinks https://t.co/WlDxejpoCF

— Martin MacDonald 🐊🇺🇸🇪🇸🇬🇧 🦖 (@searchmartin) July 18, 2019

"I've added your link" pic.twitter.com/VbmpdZvfXv

— Mark Rofe (@iamrofe) June 4, 2019

Potential Client: Can you help us?

World Class SEO Consultant: pic.twitter.com/gwK9CdYd2H

— Chris Dyson (@ChrisLDyson) September 3, 2019

This has to be where all those SEO Ninjas come from. pic.twitter.com/eFt64ogixW

— Matt Lacuesta (@MattLacuesta) July 10, 2019

I had a dream last night that the Google index suddenly became "full". Index space became a highly prized possession and companies fought in wars over any available resources causing some kind of dystopian future led by SEOs.

Clearly, I need a life 😀

— Izzi Smith (@izzionfire) December 30, 2019

SEO https://t.co/D3GParwZuU

— Jono Alderson (@jonoalderson) January 24, 2020

This is my new favorite answer box… pic.twitter.com/LlEIdNPuBg

— Greg Gifford (@GregGifford) June 18, 2019

Google Yesterday: "Freshness matters for Featured Snippets!!"

Google Today: pic.twitter.com/Iu9jh801cY

— Martin MacDonald 🐊🇺🇸🇪🇸🇬🇧 🦖 (@searchmartin) August 2, 2019

Question I found mining PAAs for Moz — "How do I uninstall the latest Google update?" — I got bad news for you, kid.

— Dr. Pete Meyers (@dr_pete) March 19, 2019

BREAKING: google launches the ERNIE algorithm to randomly insert one irrelevant off topic website into all BERT search results.

— Wtfseo (@WTFSEO) October 25, 2019

Whoa, the Google indexing bug just jumped to a new level. "Stale content"?? I'd say so… Wow. 😉 @rustybrick pic.twitter.com/FNGbYLbFOS

— Glenn Gabe (@glenngabe) May 22, 2019

Time to pay the yearly tax, on being an SEO: pic.twitter.com/UEzNJv5oC4

— Martin MacDonald 🐊🇺🇸🇪🇸🇬🇧 🦖 (@searchmartin) August 15, 2019

This car must rank well! pic.twitter.com/YCAlhzIubQ

— Dan Shure (@dan_shure) April 30, 2019

Been thinking of SEO jokes. Here’s my best attempt so far. How does @screamingfrog get home after a night out? … He crawls.

— Tom Crewe (@TomCrewe) April 17, 2019

When you ask an #SEO friend to run a @screamingfrog crawl for you 🤣 pic.twitter.com/pEH9fHDUIM

— Tessa Bonacci Nadik (@tessabonacci) October 18, 2019

I think I'm gonna stick with my gut on this one Grammarly… pic.twitter.com/Q2QUNNL0XQ

— Kane Jamison (@KaneJamison) February 19, 2019

Why did the SEO expert cross the road?

To get hit with traffic 🚗

😜😜😜😜

You. Are. Welcome

— Andrew and Pete (@AndrewAndPete) January 3, 2019

How many sit-ups should we be doing for the core update?

— Dr. Pete Meyers (@dr_pete) June 3, 2019

SEO myths that need to die:
(1) You can't spell "ranking factor" without "ring fat".
(2) Link building isn't like a building made of links. You can't live there.
(3) Al Gore Rhythm is a KC and The Sunshine Band cover band from Hyattsville.

— Dr. Pete Meyers (@dr_pete) May 9, 2019

Had a heating engineer enquire about some SEO work, he wanted to arrange a time to set up a call.

I told him I'd call between 9am and 5pm

— Mark Rofe (@iamrofe) December 3, 2019